Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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