I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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