Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
