i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Randomize
