Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
