you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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