i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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