Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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