I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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