I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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