Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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