chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
