I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
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