One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Vodka?
Forever.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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