after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
This is the prime rib incident all over again
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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