Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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