We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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