I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Mom said you looked used
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize