i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
