The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
