fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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