cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
My breasts were aching with rage.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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