I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize