I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
