I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He felt like a one man threesome
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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