at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
