so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
