the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
