I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
