you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize