i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
