I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
