We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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