He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
