yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
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