My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He better not be in your backpack
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
