There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
