Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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