The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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