tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize