dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Let's paint friendship bongs
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
