I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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