I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
