A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
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