And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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