If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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