she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
how can u be prego again
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
