we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
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