...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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