Where is the hickey?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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