pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize