hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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