he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
