Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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