I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
