I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
