i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
