this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
