He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
