i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
