I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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