I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
