Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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