I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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