I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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