I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
