oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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